I am unbelievably, unequivacolly sick today. Every time I cough, it feels as if someone has sliced my chest open. My head is jello and my nose is runny. I am at work, because I am a huge IDIOT and now I can’t control the shaking and chills.
** Note to self**
2 months ago this would have constituted at least one visit to the local ER, 2 visits to a local walk-in clinic and 5 calls to my family doctor. Plus hours of sobbing about how unfortunate I am to ALWAYS be sick.
**THANK YOU PAXIL!!**
oh and a shout out to my peeps at Ajax/Pickering Emergency. You guys to a great job!! Sorry we havent seen each other this month, maybe some coffee next week??
***Second note to self***
FIND ANOTHER JOB!! GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS PLACE….NOW!!
Ok now that’s off my chest, I have come up with numerous ways to say “I am sick, and will not be attending work today”
1) Leave me the f%#k alone! (my personal favorite)
2) Two words “Ebonic Plague”
3) My doctor says its only contagious within a 6 foot radius
4) I won’t be in this morning It turns out I have a bad case of tuberculosis. I hope to be in tomorrow.
5) I’m not feeling great and I won’t be in today, It turns out I have scabies, shingles and chicken pox.
6) I was poisoned by my mother-in-law
7) I have a bad case of hiccups
I have infected hair follicles
9) I have the swine flu
10) When I got up this morning, I accidentally took two exlax with my prozac. I can’t get off the toilet, but I feel good about it.
Tomorrow being Thursday, with statistically the lowest call in sick ratio, I may use #10.
