To say I am a sick individual may not be entirely correct. To say a have a sick sense of humor may be an understatement. So here I am stuck in the middle of immaturity and psychosis. I laugh when other people suffer. I play sick jokes on people and piss my pants laughing. I sat there watching as my husband flailed in the water after being caught on a “floatie” that wasnt so floatie anymore. He doesn’t know how to swim, and the pool was only 4 feet deep and my husband is 6′2. Whats the problem right? I sat there at the edge of the pool comprehending what was going on. Like the signal to my brain had stopped midway to ensure I got a great chuckle about it, then continued on to the rest of my body to get my ass up and help save him. I did save him, and laughed for about a week afterward, even though he was fuming at me.
I laugh when someone craps their pants and think farts are the funniest thing in the world. I have urges to push people periodically, especially when they are walking slow in front of me.
For April Fools I signed up one of my ex-bosses to the Gay and Lesbian Rights Association, then blind copied the entire company she works for. And I laughed. I am laughing now. In fact I am laughing so hard, there is a very good chance I will need to shower and change at lunch time.
In other news, I am sick. I was determined to fight it off but here it is. Sore throat and foggy head. OH, OH, OH, I almost forgot. We had another FREAK OUT at the dentist last night, courtesy of my daughter. Yes, Yes, that very same daughter who promised me she would be good this time, and that yes she understood the importance of dental hygiene. In return I offered to take her to the cookie place next door. Instead I spent 2 1/2 hours sitting on a childrens stool, desperately hoping it doesn’t crumble under my weight (as if the daughter of lucifer wasnt embarassing enough), bent in an awkward position in order to hold her legs and hands at the same time, whilst not being hit by the swinging dental tool tray. The kicker was that my youngest child had his very first appointment after her, witnessing the exorcism of emily rose in the dental chair didn’t help matters much. After much convincing, and a promise of cookies and a thomas book he hopped up on the chair. Luckily for me he has perfect teeth. He will require braces but for now, he is good.
Another wasted day in hell.
